Currently listening to : Telefon Tel Aviv
I had just visited Echa's house last nite, Marsha was over there too, and they got terribly missing me much. "It seems like I haven't met you for years, you're too damn busy people," Echa complained. She missed my call, she missed my stories and even my ignorance :P Yea, I do terribly missing you guys!
Ah, I almost forgot. I haven't told you clearly about them. They're two of my very very close friend, more than just a close friend, I consider them as my sisters, instead.
We've been a friend since elementary school and we did really know how to rock (means at the same time :p).
So I was sitting on the bed and begun to tell them my last conditions. About my love struck, my new job, my college life, and my visions (actually, they were really curious about it). Hmm.. I wish I didn't miss anything, 'coz I was trying to be honest.
They concluded that I kinda suffered a chaotic thoughts, still unstable emotionally, and sense of more perfectionist (or too idealistic?). Arghh, yea that's the way I am. I don't hesitant it, that it was all about!
I've been deadly confused about many things since being in the college. My assignments, my social-life, my own decisions, and so on, those elements of life. I thought I'd be able to do all these stuffs, I thought I'd be strong enough to feel alive. But sometimes I don't get myself like I'm eager to, I regret everything and continually blame myself. How I hate being in the college, how I hate this kind of tasks.
Sometimes I feel like dancing on a dead-end street. I fill up my mind with many many blackspots, I don't have any certain aims yet. I only crush everything's fun, I loathe and ignore everything's dull. That's simply all I have to do at the moment.
And today, few days after breaking up with him, I got my mind has being refreshed. I wanna get totally over it. Someone has influenced me, he gives me some bright future ideas and that's why I'm ready for the next things ;) Now I have my own visions about life and I always remember what my Father said : "You have to learn everything, all elements of life!".
Oh! It's already 4 am. I should have a sleep now.
Geez, I almost forget. I have to work this morning!
Okay, see you all^^
*The past is for learning. The present is for doing. The future is for planning ;)